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LET THEM EAT TOFU!
by Ann Coulter
February 28, 2007


Even right-wingers who know that "global warming" is a crock do not seem to grasp what the tree-huggers are demanding. Liberals want mass starvation and human devastation.

Forget the lunacy of people claiming to tell us the precise temperature of planet Earth in 1918 based on tree rings. Or the fact that in the '70s liberals were issuing similarly dire warnings about "global cooling."

Simply consider what noted climatologists Al Gore and Melissa Etheridge are demanding that we do to combat their nutty conjectures about "global warming." They want us to starve the productive sector of fossil fuel and allow the world's factories to grind to a halt. This means an end to material growth and a cataclysmic reduction in wealth.

There are more reputable scientists defending astrology than defending "global warming," but liberals simply announce that the debate has been resolved in their favor and demand that we shut down all production.

They think they can live in a world of only Malibu and East Hampton ­ with no Trentons or Detroits. It does not occur to them that someone has to manufacture the tiles and steel and glass and solar panels that go into those "eco-friendly" mansions, and someone has to truck it all to their beachfront properties, and someone else has to transport all the workers there to build it. (And then someone has to drive the fleets of trucks delivering the pachysandra and bottled water every day.)

Liberals are already comfortably ensconced in their beachfront estates, which they expect to be unaffected by their negative growth prescriptions for the rest of us.

There was more energy consumed in the manufacture, construction and maintenance of Leonardo DiCaprio's Malibu home than is needed to light the entire city of Albuquerque, where there are surely several men who can actually act. But he has solar panels to warm his house six degrees on chilly Malibu nights.

Liberals haven't the foggiest idea how the industrial world works. They act as if America could reduce its vast energy consumption by using fluorescent bulbs and driving hybrid cars rather than SUVs. They have no idea how light miraculously appears when they flick a switch or what allows them to go to the bathroom indoors in winter ­ luxuries Americans are not likely to abandon because Leo DiCaprio had solar panels trucked into his Malibu estate.


Our lives depend on fossil fuel. Steel plants, chemical plants, rubber plants, pharmaceutical plants, glass plants, paper plants –- those run on energy. There are no Mother Earth nursery designs in stylish organic cotton without gas-belching factories, ships and trucks, and temperature-controlled, well-lighted stores. Windmills can't even produce enough energy to manufacture a windmill.

Because of the industrialization of agriculture –- using massive amounts of fossil fuel ­ only 2 percent of Americans work in farming. And yet they produce enough food to feed all 300 million Americans, with plenty left over for export. When are liberals going to break the news to their friends in Darfur that they all have to starve to death to save the planet?

"Global warming" is the left's pagan rage against mankind. If we can't produce industrial waste, then we can't produce. Some of us ­ not the ones with mansions in Malibu and Nashville is my guess ­ are going to have to die. To say we need to reduce our energy consumption is like saying we need to reduce our oxygen consumption.

Liberals have always had a thing about eliminating humans. Stalin wanted to eliminate the kulaks and Ukranians, vegetarian atheist Adolf Hitler wanted to eliminate the Jews, Planned Parenthood founder Margaret Sanger wanted to eliminate poor blacks, DDT opponent Rachel Carson wanted to eliminate Africans (introduction to her book "Silent Spring" written by ... Al Gore!), and population-control guru Paul Ehrlich wants to eliminate all humans.

But global warming is the most insane, psychotic idea liberals have ever concocted to kill off "useless eaters." If we have to live in a pure "natural" environment like the Indians, then our entire transcontinental nation can only support about 1 million human beings. Sorry, fellas ­ 299 million of you are going to have to go.

Proving that the "global warming" campaign is nothing but hatred of humanity, these are the exact same people who destroyed the nuclear power industry in this country 30 years ago.

If we accept for purposes of argument their claim that the only way the human race can survive is with clean energy that doesn't emit carbon dioxide, environmentalists waited until they had safely destroyed the nuclear power industry to tell us that. This proves they never intended for us to survive.

"Global warming" is the liberal's stalking horse for their ultimate fantasy: The whole U.S. will look like Amagansett, with no one living in it except their even-tempered maids (for "diversity"), themselves and their coterie (all, presumably, living in solar-heated mansions, except the maids who will do without electricity altogether). The entire fuel-guzzling, tacky, beer-drinking, NASCAR-watching middle class with their over-large families will simply have to die.

It seems not to have occurred to the jet set that when California is as poor as Mexico, they might have trouble finding a maid. Without trucking, packaging, manufacturing, shipping and refrigeration in their Bel-Air fantasy world, they'll be chasing the rear-end of an animal every time their stomachs growl and killing small animals for pelts to keep their genitals warm.

Paragraph Summaries:

Title: BLARGH! I MAKE TEH STEREOTYPE BLARGH BLARGH

Paragraph 1: COMMIES WANT TO KILL US ALL!

Paragraph 2: GLOBAL WARMING IS A MYTH BECAUSE I HATE AL GORE THAT COMMIE BASTARD BLARGH

Paragraph 3: AL GORE AND MELISSA ETHRIDGE WANT TO STARVE YOUR BABIES AND TAKE YOUR MONEY

Paragraph 4: MY SOURCES ARE BETTER

Paragraph 5: STUPID COMMIES HATE THA WORKIN' MAN

Paragraph 6: LIBERALS ALL LIVE ON BEACHES AND SING KUMBAYA ALL DAY

Paragraph 7: ....BLARGH LEO DI'CAPRIO BLARGH BLARGH

Paragraph 8: COMMIES DON'T KNOW NUTTIN ABOUT NUTTIN!

Paragraph 9: I HATE WINDMILLS! FUCK ALL YOUR COMMIE WINDMILLS! SANTA GAVE ME COAL FOR CHRISTMAS

Paragraph 10: HEY I MENTIONED DARFUR THAT MAKES ME MORE INFORMED THAN YOU STUPID COMMIES

Paragraph 11: COMMIE HEATHEN BASTARDS STAY AWAY FROM MY OIL

Paragraph 12: THEY'LL KILL US! OH GOD THE HEATHEN COMMIES WILL KILL US! GUUULAAAAAG!

Paragraph 13: BLARGH BLARGH I SAY INDIAN BECAUSE STUPID COMMIES TELL ME TO CALL THEM NATIVE AMERICAN BLARGH

Paragraph 14: COMMIES HATE HUMANS, JUST LIKE FURRIES

Paragraph 15: Repeat Paragraph 14

Paragraph 16: COMMIES HATE NASCAR BLARGH!

Paragraph 17: BLARGH MEXICO BLARGH BLARGH

And then, I'm assuming her head exploded, but that might be wishful thinking.

That wiley crazy wench!


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